On the face of it, there should be nothing wrong. For a start, lamb is the only red meat guaranteed to be grass-fed. And this is important, because grass-fed animals have a proper balance of omega-3 and omega-6 oils, folic acid, and vitamins. Recent work by Michael Pollan, a food expert, tells us that health problems caused by red meat might really be health problems caused by eating animals that spent their lives in feedlots rather than pastures.

But sheep, I think, are fine. And cabbage? Cabbage is one of the best things you can eat. Full of anti-cancer agents, and great for the digestion. What about onions, tomatoes, and red chilli peppers? A more or less flawless combination. And, if you have been going easy on the carbs, one disc of flatbread is not an unhealthy daily portion.

So why, when I walked out of the Charcoal Grill, preparing to take the first bite of my lamb-and-cabbage health stick, as I think of it, did people mock me? It’s because they associate kebabs with bad behaviour. I once wrote a recipe for a kebab. It was: take a large quantity of alcohol, pour it down your throat, and, after a while, the kebab just materialises in your hand. The kebab has a dark past in many of our lives. But don’t judge a man because of his kebab. Judge him, instead, by the state he’s in while he’s eating the kebab. And I was sober, I promise. WL