Food - The Ram in Firle

I looked at the Ram’s menu and realised that I would be quite happy eating anything on it. So I did the usual balancing act between price and desirability and came up with something perfect: scallops on a bed of creamy risotto, for £12.95. “What are you having?” I asked Suzie, my dining companion. “The scallops,” she said, raising a dilemma. It’s funny how you never want to have the same thing as your partner. “Shall we just… both have the scallops?” I asked. “Why the hell not,” she said. It felt like being naughty. The waiter came up, a short efficient man, dressed in black. We told him that we were waiting for some friends, that we didn’t know if they wanted to eat or not, so we’d order later. He took the order anyway, said he’d keep a couple of scallop portions back.

Our friends didn’t want to eat. We tipped the guy the wink. He came back with an apologetic look on his face. “I made a mistake. There are no scallops left,” he said. Suzie opted for the sea bass on the same risotto, for the same price. I went for the pork belly at £13.95. “I will make it the same price as the scallops,” said the waiter. “I’d have had the fillet steak, if I’d known,” I joked. “You can if you want,” he said. It was worth £17.95. It arrived with a pile of chips shaped like an unstarted game of jenga. Delicious. And the bonus of trying Suzie’s rice, too. Pity about the scallops, though. Next time. AL