There are two words that, when strung together, make me seethe. Together, they make up a phrase that, every year, bugs me more and more, until it seems like a mantra representing everything that’s wrong with the world.
I haven’t heard it yet, but it’s coming.
It starts appearing around the beginning of December, although it seems to happen earlier every year. It starts cropping up on soaps and TV specials. It’s used as a punctuation point in a scene. Somebody will say it, in an annoying, pleading voice. They’ll say it in a resigned voice. They’ll say it in a voice that is meant to be triumphant, but sounds hollow.
‘It’s Christmas!’
You’ll hear it all around you – in bars, trains, shops, pubs. You’ll hear it as a toast when somebody orders one drink too many, a sigh of resignation when someone prepares to stuff a chocolate bar into his or her mouth, a rallying-call at all times when control is being lost.
And, as the month progresses, it will be said with more anger, more panic. People will say it as they ask each other for money, as they break an unpopular piece of news, as they unveil complicated arrangements.
Oh come on, just this once – it’s Christmas!
I’m really sorry about this, but, well…it’s Christmas!
Oh, lighten up! It’s probably insured…anyway, it’s Christmas!
I’m beginning to feel like Scrooge. What’s happening?
Is it me?
Or is it Christmas?