At the Lewes Well Being Fest I signed up for a quit smoking programme. Two days to go before the first appointment and I had a great warm-up. I went to the New Inn at Hurstpierpoint where I was made to feel like a junky. It is under New Management and the owners have done the traditional fruit-machine-to-expensive-flat-paint metamorphosis. All original features and gastro pub. A 15-minute drive from Lewes, it’s definitely worth the expedition. It is also the first totally smoke free pub I have ever been to in the UK. The trendy front public bar, dark wood-panelled saloon bar, big airy restaurant and family bar are all ashtray free. It was nice to see newborn babies in there while their glazed-eyed parents had a drink. Even emphysema sufferers could come in and enjoy a pint of Harveys. What’s more, on Saturday, I was the only smoker and the place was full. It could have been a lung surgeon’s convention. I was the sole saddo who had to stand out in a little back alley by the dustbins and inhale formaldehyde in full view of the rest of the customers. There was no fellow addict to have the usual reassuring “lepers together” banter with. I may as well been sniffing glue out of a crisp packet, I felt like such a freak. So stage one has been reached already: I have found my new watering hole. I am getting ready for the euphoria and for preaching about how good I feel; and I look forward to feeling as comfortable and dignified as those smug bastards in the New Inn.