My partner’s a man of substance and style. He’s rubbed shoulders with the best. Yes indeed, my heart beat a little faster when I discovered he was a certificated member of the Tufty Club (South Yorkshire Division). I am less qualified, but do remember the Green-Cross Code Man saying ‘Stop, Look and Listen’. Anyway, I’m trying to teach our son road safety, which is hard in Lewes because of the total lack of respect paid by car drivers to the zebra crossings (all two of them). How can I encourage him to use the nearby Offham Road one when cars go careering over it when people are trying to cross? Lots of us need to traverse Offham Road with our children en route to school, and nowhere is it safe to do so. Why are there no Lollipop men and women? I shout at drivers who ignore us and speed over the crossing. Some odd looks come my way. Once, with extraordinary gall, a driver stopped his 4x4 to shout back at me. But why should I be surprised that someone so ignorant would lack the humility or brainpower to say ‘sorry’ and go more slowly? Though not standard Tufty practice, Rob’s been known to throw a briefcase at such a car, which isn’t to be recommended unless you’re actually a squirrel and can escape up a tree. I think we need to call on Keith Prowse to restore order as the Green-Cross Code Man. Even better, in his other guise as DarthVadar. I’m sure he’d be a kick-ass Lollipop Man.