Lazzati’s

The Italians have an expression that you hear over and over again if you’re a foreigner in their country. It goes ‘non si fa cosi’ and is usually uttered with more than a pinch of exasperation. It means, more or less, ‘you can’t do that!’ with the idea that ‘that’ is practically a crime against humanity. There are a number of actions that you can’t perform without drawing this response, especially in the kitchen. Overcooking the pasta is one. You can’t drink a cappuccino at any time other than breakfast time. And you should never, ever put Parmesan cheese on a fish dish. That is considered the most heinous food crime, the act of a complete philistine. So I’m wondering what to do when the waiter in Lazzati’s, the only genuine family-run Italian restaurant in Lewes, comes round with the grated Parmiggiano. I’ve gone for the ‘Mare’ seafood sauce on tagliatelle, which is sitting, piping hot, in front of me. And I want some cheese on it.

We’re sitting in the outside bit, a tiny terrace heated by one of those big gas burners and sheltered by a plastic roof. Among others, I’m with Emilio, a friend from Sicily, who has gone for the same dish. The cheese arrives. “Yes please,” I say. The waiter raises an eyebrow, and sprinkles it on anyway. Emilio doesn’t say a word, but I can see he’s bothered. Afterwards he asks me how my dish was. “OK,” I say. “Just OK? Mine was very good,” he says, and pauses. “Funny that, we had the same thing. But there again, I didn’t put any cheese on it.” AL