Tudor House Restaurant

We’ve walked through the 14th century interior of the Tudor House Restaurant in Alfriston and into a charming walled garden, through a pretty flint arch. It’s a lovely sunny day, and I cast my eye over a number of salady menu items that would suit the weather. Filo prawns, fresh crab, lemon roasted salmon. When I see one option however, I realise that there is no option. It’s funny, but even on a day like this, even in a place like this, I can’t resist a good bit of suet. In this case ‘steamed bacon and onion suet pudding with mash potato and gravy’. The waitress recommends, rather gently, that I order a side dish of boiled vegetables, so I do.

What is it about suet? It’s the epitome of everything that you’re not meant to eat: a whack of saturated fat from around the kidney of a cow. You know it’s got to be bad for you, though my parents by all accounts, were practically brought up on the stuff, and it hasn’t seemed to have done them any harm. It arrives shaped like a large Swiss roll, plonked on a bed of mash, in a bowl. The veg arrive to pull back a consolation goal: Stodge 5, Vital Nutrients 1. A guilty pleasure: I haven’t enjoyed lunch so much in ages. Later we take a stroll around the picturesque little village, wondering if it looked twee in real medieval times, or just normal. About an hour after the meal my body’s suet-rebellion becomes impossible to ignore: luckily they stock Rennies in the village’s delightful 14th century newsagent. AL